Thing to Do No. 5: Find Religion

I once heard a defense attorney say: "Jesus can always be found lying beneath jail cell cots; the problem is that most inmates leave Him where they found Him." I'm not really sure how that relates to the intent of this post, but I like the quote anyway.

Yesterday, while I was having my pity party, I also got to do some mildly serious thinking. This was between episodes 1 and 2 of "True Blood" Season 1 on DVD, which I have borrowed from my sister. I think I used to have a blogname for her, but I can't remember it. The thought that continually crossed my mind was how irritated I was that my body was (drama-queen term coming up) "betraying" me. I kept thinking: I am healthy as a horse; I eat well(ish); and I exercise. My baby, according to all the evidence, is also perfectly healthy. So why am I sitting at home confined to the sofa? It doesn't seem fair, and it doesn't make sense.

That highly self-centered train of thought had an eventual destination, however. I segued from thinking about how agitated I was about sitting at home in a perfectly healthy body with a perfectly healthy baby to thinking about some others in my life. I have friends who are struggling to conceive and friends who have dealt with failed pregnancies. I have friends whose parents are facing illnesses that seem to have come out of nowhere. How must they feel? If I could be as upset as I am about my body not quite doing what I want it to do, how about those whose bodies truly are betraying them?

It's baffling and unsettling to realize that the bodies that so often serve us so well also often fail us without explanation or justification. Having had only a very mild taste, I can appreciate somewhat better how groundshaking "real" bad news must be. Of the friends I've watched struggle with these far more pressing and stressful health issues, I am always amazed at the fortitude with which they respond and at the ripple effects that extend to those around them.

Perhaps the gist of this post is that perhaps (and that's a big perhaps) we have to experience a real loss of control to realign our priorities and get our heads on straight.

On the other hand, perhaps the gist of this post is that sometimes, Shit Happens.

Either way, I'm grateful for the undeserved support from the Colonel and my family and friends over the past several days. Take it from me: I can be a real pain in the ass.